Results for challenge #6

Hello!  Here is a reminder of what challenge #6 was all about:

Challenge #6:

Show love to your siblings by being flexible in something that you would normally fight over.  Tell them that you are going to choose to put them first and do what they choose.  

Ok, so………..it didn’t really go so well for me.  It wasn’t as easy as I expected and I sure did want to give a successful report on how I did.  However, my report is not all that successful and a little embarrassing.  But, maybe someone out there can be helped by this, so here it goes:

There were several attempts to be flexible and “bend” like the palm trees, and I almost made it, but it ended in sarcasm and leaving the room in a huff to show how unhappy I was.  My mom said that I’m not quite there yet.  Other times, I just let it loose and argued…..I’m not proud of it.  It took me a little too long to realize it though, and by then it was too late.  It really can sneak up on you.  Looks like I need to spend more time in Proverbs for strength and wisdom.

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What I did learn is that there are plenty of chances to be flexible with our siblings, they are around every turn.That can be overwhelming, but it can also be a lot of second chances.  We aren’t perfect and we mess up, we need second chances.  I also know now the most common things we argue about.   So I can be on the lookout and be more diligent on staying flexible.

My mom had two of my siblings take the challenge as well.  Here are their results:

Julia – age 12

“My mom asked me to write a guest post about Kolby’s challenge.  She thought everyone could use this challenge, even the grown ups. The challenge was about “taking the high road”, making a choice to let someone win an argument for the sake of peace.  I actually don’t remember a time when I did this.  This made me feel a little silly and embarrassed.  I spent time this last week working on this, and I read and re-read James 3:17 and Philippians 2:4.    I thought about some ways that I can do this when the situation arises:

1.  Offer to choose their ideas

2. Help them make a decision

3. When faced with an argument, say ok and move on.  With a smile.

“I think this might take a while.  My parents said that it is a hard and worthwhile characteristic to have and it doesn’t always come easy, but that we will be so much better off and blessed by having it. ”

Ben – Age 10

“One day last week, my mom was going to the library and I really wanted to go.  My brother Kolby looked like he was getting ready to go, too.  So, I asked him if he would want to go with my mom alone, to have one on one time.  This is something that we always argue about, but not that time. ”

 

Those are the results.  I would really like to hear how some of your challenges went.  Am I really the only one who has a hard time not being flexible?  Come on, let’s hear it.

Keepin’ the challenge,

Kolby

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Challenge #6

The post is going to be a fun one!

If a friend or family member ever asked you or your siblings if there was anything that you disagreed on, how long or short would the list be? How long did the disagreement go on for?  Did anyone give in?

Do you think that you or your siblings have ever looked like this?

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Well, stubbornness is pretty common in our house, how about yours? Like if someone tries to convince me that Asparagus is good, you will see my stubbornness! Or, if I am getting blamed for something I didn’t do.

What kind of things do you and your siblings argue about? I took a poll in our house, this is what we came up with:

Whose spot is whose

Whose turn it is during a game

Whose turn to get the mail, do a certain chore, hold the baby (haha)

Who was first in line

Whose ice cream is in the freezer

Whose turn it is to pick a movie for Friday night

Oh boy, it goes on, but I thought that might be enough for now.

The fighting just keeps going and doesn’t really get anywhere.  Nothing gets resolved and Dad and Mom just gets mad.  It gets pretty frustrating when you are trying to convince someone how wrong they are and they won’t listen.  Haha.  Just kidding.   It also gets tiring always trying to prove that you are right all the time.  Sometimes it just isn’t worth it.

There are times when being stubborn isn’t SO bad.  For instance, when you are defending your faith, convictions or family, being stubborn is ok.  Actually, it is being unshakable.   That is awesome.   The times I am talking about are times when people are fighting about who is right or wrong, whose turn is whose. The times when you are just trying to prove a point to be right, because you don’t want to look silly or embarrassed because you might be wrong.

Well, my mom says that when we do this, we already look pretty silly being so hard-headed and not giving in, so we might as well just “take the high road” and surrender.  That makes God happy.  Maybe we should be the opposite of stubborn.  According to Websters this is it:

flex·i·ble

 adjective \ˈflek-sə-bəl\

: capable of bending or being bent

: easily changed : able to change or to do different things

: willing to change or to try different things

 

I read something once how “Palm trees by the ocean can endure the greatest winds because they know how to gracefully bend.”  Hmm.  Sounds easier said than done, but then I saw what God says about it:

Psalm 92:12 The righteous man will flourish like the palm tree

I guess I need to practice being able to give in, to bend a little.  I have been known to dig my heels in when I am feeling pretty stubborn (I know, it is hard to believe).   While talking with my parents, we thought about how far a fight could go if it is only one person fighting?  I guess it ends, right?  By not arguing or proving a point,  we are showing love and humbleness to lay down our right to be right, for the good of others.

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We should probably ask ourselves if what we are arguing about really matters?  Will it matter in the long run…..in eternity?  Probably not.  I am going to go get started.  Here is the challenge for all of us siblings.  Please be sure to share this post with whomever might need it.

Callenge #6:

Show love to your siblings by being flexible in something that you would normally fight over.  Tell them that you are going to choose to put them first and do what they choose.  Let me know how it works out for you, this could get interesting!

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Keepin’ the Challenge,

Kolby

Results for challenge # 5

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This is the  result of:

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Hello everyone,

So, as the challenge said, I needed to ask my siblings an important question.  I went  to my siblings and asked them to give me a list of three things I do that make them mad or irritated. In other words, how am I rude to them. Apparently  there is a lot of stuff I do that make them mad,  and I am surprised at myself.  This post is not going to be very comfortable for me.  I am going to be sharing things that are a little embarrassing, things that I don’t really want everyone to know.  After talking to my parents, I realized that there might be others out there that have been rude to their siblings and that I wouldn’t be as alone as I thought.  Plus, we can help each other change our bad habits.  Ok, so here are MY bad habits:

I asked two of my siblings, the ones that are old enough to answer.  Plus, I asked my parents.  Well, actually my mom thought that she and my dad should answer, too.  It’s funny, they came up with the SAME answers.  I think I have work to do.

1. Tease/ Pick on for fun.

2. Sarcastic cutting words.

3. Doing things I know will make them mad.

What do I do now?  Pray.  That’s what I do.  Also, stock up my brain with God’s Word, what He says about words and not being rude.  Also,  what He says will happen when we are rude.  Here are a few scripture verses to get us all started:

Proverbs 16:24

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If anyone finds other verses that would be helpful, please post them in a comment and I will add them.  I will be praying  for all of us doing the challenge.  Also, if any of you want to share your experience with your challenge, please send me a comment.

Keepin’ the Challenge,

Kolby

Challenge #5

Proverbs 27.14

Abrupt.  Bad mannered.  Gruff.  Surly.  Ungracious. 

What do all these words have in common you ask?  Well, I’ll tell you.  They are all different ways of defining rude behavior.

One thing that will get me frustrated with my siblings is when one of them says something rude to me.  Besides getting frustrated, it sometimes hurts my feelings and I am real tempted to get back at them with some really strong words.  Sometimes I do just that.  Then the guilt comes and I often have to apologize.

Rudeness comes in lots of different packages.  Sometimes a glaring look, bad manners at the table, interrupting people when they are talking, walking away while someone is talking, sarcasm, yelling and much more.

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So, why are we rude to our siblings?  Didn’t God give them to us to LOVE?  Stop laughing.  I know, it’s hard to look at it this way when we live so close together, in each others space and around each other ALL THE TIME.  Especially when you homeschool, like our family.  Any other homeschoolers out there??  Back to loving our siblings.  If we love them, why are we rude to them? Shouldn’t love help us do things that DON’T irritate each other?

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I believe that one of the reasons we can’t seem to mind of manners with our siblings is that we have some bitterness and  unforgiveness in the way.  If we don’t let go of what made us mad, nothing will be resolved.  We have to go to God and lay it down and forgive the person (because it is GOOD for US, not because we agree with what they did to us).  You will be free from that burden and it might be easier to mind our manners.  Even forgiving yourself for anything you did to get back at them is always a good idea.

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My parents have told me many times that forgiving is being obedient.  It really isn’t a choice, because we were made to forgive and not hold onto grudges, hate or any offenses.  Not that it’s easy, but that we must make the choice to do it because that’s how we were made and if we don’t it can cause problems in our lives.  My mom says it’s like operating one of your toys.  You have a users manual that comes with the toy telling you how to use it and if you don’t use it right, it might break.  We are the toy, God is the Toy Maker and forgiveness is one of the instructions.  If we choose unforgivemess and bitterness, we won’t be working the way God intended.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to walk around broken all the time.

Ok, so here is our challenge.  Ask your siblings to tell you three things that you do that cause them to be irritated with you.  You can’t get mad at them for what they say OR make excuses for your behavior either.  Pray about it, ask forgiveness from God and for Him to help you change.  Maybe even ask your siblings if they would forgive you, too.  Remember:

Psalm 112:5

5 A good man deals graciously and lends;

He will guide his affairs with discretion.

 

Keepin the Challenge,

Kolby

I’m Back !!

Hi fellow sibling challengers!

Sorry for the long break, my family and I took a hiatus (I like this word, it’s new to me…look it up)  and have been very busy the last several months. We moved, started a family business and my mom had a baby.  Our family has had a full plate, but it is has all been good.  It has made us stronger for sure.  My blog had to move to the back burner for a bit, but things have slowed down now and I am ready to go!  I am so excited to start sharing new challenges with you.  I recently read an email from a reader, encouraging me to continue writing.  So hold on to your hats!  Challenge #5 is just around the corner, work has already begun.  Stay tuned…..

Keepin’ the challenge,

Kolby

Challenge #4 results

So, it took me a little longer than I thought to complete and post my challenge.  The results are not quite what I was expecting, and they are even a little embarrassing.  But, it is important to post them anyway (my mom says), because it might help someone else dealing with the same problem.  The challenge was to approach your sibling(s) and ask them two questions:

1) How are you doing?

2) Is there anything I can do for you?

I have NEVER done this before and didn’t know how to do it.  So I just went right upstairs and asked each of them those two questions.

 

This is how I saw my sister Julia react:

She didn’t know what I was doing.  She thought it was weird, and so I asked again.  After I asked, she told me that what I could do was get her a cup of water.

 

This is how I saw my brother Ben react:

His reaction was normal.  He told me exactly what he wanted, to go to his room and get his stuffed animal for him.  I went and got it and Ben said thank you.

 

I thought they would ask for something bigger, but they didn’t.  It was pretty simple, so the challenge was fairly easy.  My mom asked me a question later that I had to think about.  “What if they asked you to do something more difficult, like making them lunch, for instance,”  Then my answer was still the same, that I would have done it.  Just to make it interesting, my mom asked the kids to write down, in their own words, how they reacted to my questions.

Julia (age 11) said:

“The other day, Kolby was doing a challenge for his blog, but I didn’t know this at first.  The challenge was to come up to us and ask us how we were and if he could do anything for us.  It was pretty weird, because I didn’t know what he was doing and normally Kolby doesn’t do that.  But later on, I discovered that he did it for his challenge, and I felt good that he was willing to do that for me.”

Ben (age 9) said:

“A few days ago, Kolby was being really nice to me.  He asked me how I was, and if he could do anything for me.  When I reacted to Kolby, I thought, this isn’t Kolby!  I knew that it was part of his challenge, and it was very nice of him, but it just wasn’t him.  I told him that he could get my Webkinz for me from my room, and he did.  I felt like he was someone else!  I was amazed!  That’s why I love Kolby.”

 

I felt really bad about their reactions at first.  I don’t think about them enough or ask what I can do for them nearly often enough.  I was feeling pretty guilty.  After talking to my parents, I realized that guilt isn’t good, it can make you feel pretty crummy, so I can see this as a chance to show more love and concern for my siblings so they don’t think I am crazy the next time I ask them those two big questions.

 

Here are some scriptures we found on the importance of caring and showing love for all of our brothers and sisters.

 

Matthew 7:12

12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

Philippians 2:3-4

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

 

1Peter 1:22

22 Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently

 

Romans 12:10 – KJV

10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

 

Romans 12:10 – CJB

10 Love each other devotedly and with brotherly love; and set examples for each other in showing respect.

 

I would like to hear about your challenges, please feel free to comment and share.  Don’t worry about sharing results that are not perfect, did you see mine?  My siblings didn’t even know who I was!  Hope to hear from you.

 

Keepin’ the challenge,

Kolby

 

Challenge #4

Psalms 139:17-18

“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.  I awake, and I am still with you.”

 

When your sibling is first-born everything is fun and new.  You would do anything for your new brother or sister, and you think the world of them.  Then things begin to change, your baby brother or sister grows up and all of a sudden at 2 years old they begin to “challenge your feelings and nerves”.   After a while you may not think about or do as many things for your siblings.  They kind of irritate you sometimes.  We stop being thoughtful toward them.  If we are supposed to love our siblings, I think  it requires us to be thoughtful. To think about them , what we can do for them or how we can bless them.

When was the last time we spent a few minutes thinking about how we can show love to them or  help them with something they need?  What about the next holiday or birthday?  How can we show we were thinking of them?

Challenge:  Besides thinking about the questions above, go up to your sibling today and ask how they are doing and if you can do anything for them.

Keepin’ the challenge,

Kolby